Saturday, September 26, 2015

Concern or Prying?

It was usually a ritual for us to have an approval of the entire clan before carrying out an activity. And, usually when one inquired for something from us, we could not shy away or just walk away without giving an answer.

But was that in 18th century or we just came into the jet age where its all about I, Me and Myself?

Probably its about the mindset that we harbour these days. Both, the young generation and the old generation, seems to know-it-all. And, exactly this is where the clash happens. While the guardians are concerned about their younger ones' well being, their present and their future, the always-too-energetic generation next thinks it as an interference in their personal space and are ever ready to shun them out.

Now the next obvious question is who is right? the oldies or the yoingistan? who crossed that fine line between concern and prying, either way? I would say both of them. While the older ones will have to realise that the times change and so will have to be their attitude towards their fledglings who are abled enough to soar high into the skies. They will have to trust their upbringing and the values that are passed onto them. Give them space, please! But, at the same time the younger people will have to change the equation that they share will the senior people. Try and be friends with them and also try to take their advice in a sporting manner. Not always would they be wrong. They will have to trust their 'tazoorba' in life and not just run away from them and adopt to means like lying and evading them.

The fact is we all have to pass through the phase of 'kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi'. The gen next will become gen 'x' and same the face issues that gen 'x' comes across today.


Friday, September 25, 2015

Love Labour Lost

She was an enigma, then his girlfriend, then his better half, then his wife and then the mother of his kids.

There are a very few relations that can survive the journey from a girlfriend  to being a companion. Rest just die on this treacherous path.

But why does it happen so often?

Its difficult to answer this question as one might say but a slight introspection and one can see the contours of the answer.
The easiest explanation would be that priorities change as we grow in a relationship. For both, the man and the woman. For a woman the timeline shifts somewhat like this.  First its You and me, then her home, then kids, and then the deeds for a better afterlife. For a man, it probably is love, then family requirements, then body requirements and then that's about it. Amidst these priorities what one forgets is that the older when gets in a relationship, needier one gets of the other for anything and everything. And, it isn't that we don't know this universal truth and we don't realise it but we just hesitate to accept it pushing it to the back burner for once and for ever.
However, It is not difficult to maintain that romanticism and that 'rumaaniyat' in our relationships. A few quick glances at each other, once in a while rose, a wink when  one dresses up, a long hand in hand walk. Saste sundar and teekau upaay can save us from feeling lonely even when we are with our loved ones.

Just try and catch a few 'we' moments from 'our' lives and trust me life would not be less than a Yash Chopra movie for us.

Let that love not be lost in all the labour you do to put together that same love in your lives.

keep loving.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Des Vides

Its nearing an year now. An year of dreams, hopes, achievements, craziness, doubts, meltdowns, new friends and family. When last November, I moved to Amreeka with Pankaj and a half year old Gappu, I had felt elated. Finally, my amrikan dream was becoming a reality. Before even coming here, I could picture my first journey back home. Definitely in winters, long boots, Gucci ka bag, MK ke shades, CK ki jacket and a walking Gappu with me. And then ranting humare amreeka mein toh aisa hota hai and vaisa hota hai..

But, a week after that 24 hour contraption called flight journey, I was very well grounded. It wasn't going to be easy. Being on my own. Dealing with important growth years of a premature born baby as a first time mother was a task and also sometimes frustrating. Upar se, it was winters. All snow and being confined to limited places was not easy getting accustomed to. Being a content writer, I am supposed to be good in angreji and I am. But, understanding the amreekan accent was sometimes a daring job. Somehow I managed and thoughtI would survive.

But, six months here and that creepy feeling of being family sick started coming back now and then. It was always as if I was trying to calm myself saying that it is just a holiday and we will be back home again forgetting that this was my home for now. This was also the time when I realised thee importance of being near my family, their nagging, their concern. I realised that they are my strongest support system and without them I am usually on life support system. However, i did make through those winters with some extra oxygen supply from friends, and shoppjng escapades.

Summers came with a rush of blood in me. open spaces, green trees, outings, beaches, get together, kitty parties rejuvenated me. Friends seemed to be becoming family and my heart and mind sort of accepted that. The Amreekan dream was not all that nasty.

There are tough times but as I approach my second winters here I know I am better equipped to take the task head on.