With my marriage day (D-Day!) coming nearer and nearer, I am feeling the heat! I now understand how MS and his boys would have felt just before the WC. Life seemed to be rosy, like a dream when I got engaged. It was like the start of a honeymoon period. Everyone around wishing me and teasing me. New saris, jewelry, new family members, getting called ‘chahci’ by those sweet, little, cute cousins of mine, those ever rising phone bills (;-)). WOW!!! But, then this is not just it. With this engagement, begins the new chapter of my life. The phase of life where I come out of the ever soothing shadows of my parents, my sisters, my brother-in-laws and step into the scorching heat of responsibilities. Breakfasts, packing lunches, planning out the budgets, ration bills, groceries, striking a balance between office and home…sigh!!! Until now, I had seem my super Mom doing all these things as if it’s like a piece of a cake. I used to sit back and think, “Kya re, its all gonna happen..this is gonna be like a click of a finger job for me. When I can handle my professional life well..whats all new with these day to day ‘GHAR’ ki life??!!” Now I understand! The brilliant thing is that abhi it is time for me to actually step into these shows and I have already started getting sleepless nights.
It amazes me that how sweetly life has ushered me into this new role. When I get up in the morning, I actually sit down and count on my fingers what all shopping is left, what all is left to be packed, do I have a parlor session today etc. etc. What I don’t realize is that these are just the lollipops that life lures you with to suck you in this ever-growing black hole of responsibilities. I don’t want to come across as a gal who is scared of shaadi. NOWAYS! I want to get married and have my own family.
However, the one question that I always ask my mum (and irritate her) is that Am I ready for marriage??
My mum always answers, “You would never be. No girl is ready for marriage until she gets married. I understand these things are new for you and would be exciting and scary at the same time. But don’t run away from your fears and responsibilities. Try to mould yourself. Try to see yourself as a wife, as a daughter-in-law. Don’t rush up the things. Take them slowly. Give your brain nerves enough time to circulate blood to understand this new chapter. Take a deep breath. Trust yourself and your better half!”
I feel good to hear this. I feel confident. Just for a while, though. The cold feet keep coming back to me. There are no butterflies in my stomach. There are hungry crocodiles inside. The picture of pretty lehenga comes with a million questions. The echo of dhol beats comes with the sound of gurgling water from the kitchen. The tinkling of anklets is mixed with the sound of the karchi striking against the kadhai. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Every day when I see the pictures of my fiancé and my new family, I just say one thing, “Life can’t get better!”
But then Is it??!!